Left in the Dark (1.1)

Lincoln: [marks calendar] It's finally here: the live season finale of the GREATEST! SHOW! EVER! [to viewers] All right, I know you're probably saying to yourself: "Lincoln, with ten sisters, there's no way you're going to get to watch your favorite show." And you'd be right; every Sunday at eight it's the same thing. [flashback of his sisters fighting over the remote] But tonight, I have a plan.

Lucy: Sorry, Lincoln, I can't miss my vampires. Edwin is so cold and tormented and mysterious. Sigh. If only he wasn't from another century...

Lincoln: [gets an idea] Another century! That's okay, Lucy. You watch your show on the big color TV. I'll just go watch my show on Dad's crummy old black and white TV.

Lucy: Black and white are my favorite colors.

Lincoln: Yeah, it'll make watching my show a little bit more... spooky!

Lucy: Spooky is also my favorite color.

[Many of the Loud kids murmur in confusion about the power outage.]

Lori: All right! All right! Everybody just calm down!

Leni: Guys! I can't see anything! I think I've gone blind!

Lori: No, you didn't go blind. What the heck happened?

Lincoln: I was just plugging in the old TV for Lucy and it must've made the lights go out.

Lori: Of course it was your fault, Lincoln.

[All the other sisters complain about what their brother did.]

Lincoln: What? All I did was plug in some dumb old TV!

[The sisters still won't listen to their brother.]

Luan: Hey! I know why the lights went out! Cause they liked each other! [laughs as her siblings sigh] Get it? Get it?

Lisa: That one was so good, it deserves a cookie. [hands her one]

Luan: "Oh, thanks. [eats it] "So anyway, what did one light bulb say to the other? [suddenly starts glowing]

[Clyde enters the room]

Clyde: Cadet Clyde reporting for duty! [notices Lori] L-L-Lori? Red alert. Red alert. Does not compute. Circuit overload. Must abort mission. [leaves]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] I told you it gets awkward.

Get the Message (1.2)

Lana: No running in the hallway!

Lincoln: Huh? What are you talking about?

Lola: Lana, is this maggot giving you lip? [writes a ticket]

Lana: We're the new hall monitors at school, so we're practicing at home.

[They stick the ticket to Lincoln's head with gum]

Lola: If we catch you speeding again, you're going downtown! We already locked up Luan for telling bad jokes.

Luan: [in a cardboard jail cell] Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months! [laughs] Get it?

Lola: That's five more minutes, dirtbag!

Lincoln: Okay, okay. I'll walk within the speed limit. I swear."

Lana: NO SWEARING!

Lincoln: Clyde, what have I done?! I called Lori a [a guitar riff is heard over his voice] when she's actually a [harp strings are heard]!

Lori: [plucking her nose, while talking to Bobby] If you want our couple name to be Lobby, you're going to have to show a little-- [notices Lincoln's letter on the floor] What's this? [picks it up and reads it] "Why Lori is the worst sister ever"?! Bobby, I gotta go. I'm gonna turn Lincoln into a human pretzel! [Lincoln is scratching his head and jumps in shocked as Lori burst out of the bathroom with the letter on her hand showing the letter to him] LINCOLN! WHAT IS THIS?!

Lincoln: Well, it's time to do the official dance of the Loud House: the Running Man! [puts on his new googles and starts to dance away from Lori's wrath]

Lori: WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA-- [Luna emerges, censoring Lori's rant of rage with her rock music]

Heavy Meddle (2.1)

Lynn: [carrying a boy] I found him!

[the Loud sisters surround the boy Lynn is carrying]

Lori: How dare you bully our brother! Only we get to do that.

Making the Case (2.2)

[Outside the Loud House, Lincoln comes back depressed]

Lincoln: I sure hope that worked. [opens the door only to find out that his sisters are STILL furious] It didn't work.

Lori: [sternly] Lincoln...

Lincoln: [apologetically] I know I embarrassed you and I can't undo it, and I'm sorry, but the least I could do was embarrass myself right along with you, that way we'd all be even!

Lynn: Even? You think this makes us even?

Lincoln: Well, I was trying to-

Lynn: Yours was way worse!

Lori: [cheerfully] Yeah! That video was hysterical!

[The girls surround Lincoln and ensure him that they forgive him]

Lincoln: So, we're good?

Lucy: We're good...brother.

Luan: Sorry you didn't win the trophy.

Lori: But we really appreciate what you did and thought you deserved something. [hands him a tiny trophy]

Lincoln: Wow. Thanks, guys.

[Lola and Lynn hug him and Luna pats him on the head; he runs to the case and places the trophy in his spot]

Lincoln: Most Improved Brother. [to the viewers] I did it. My sisters no longer despise me, Cristina's switching classes, and I finally made the case.

[Another flatulent sound occurs and the other girls look at Lori suspiciously]

Lori: It was my shoe!

Driving Miss Hazy (3.1)

Lincoln: Okay, first, fasten your seat belt.

[Lola puts her beauty pageant sashes on them to simulate the seat belts]

Leni: That was easy.

Lincoln: Next, check your mirrors.

Leni: Why?! Do I look bad?!

Lincoln: No no no! No! I meant-

Leni: Stop the car! I can't drive in this hideous condition! [comes back now wearing a helmet] That's better.

Lincoln: [sighs] Lesson 12: Avoiding road hazards. There's a squirrel in the road. What do you do?

[Lily, in a squirrel costume, speaks squirrel language]

Leni: Aahhhhhhhhh!

Lincoln: This is a brake pedal. What does the brake pedal do? [beat] White shoes after Labor Day!

Leni: Ew, stop!

Lincoln: Exactly. This is the gas pedal. What does the gas pedal do? [beat] Boots from the 60's.

Leni: Go-go!

No Guts, No Glori (3.2)

Lincoln: [drinking lemonade] Ah, Friday night. You survived another week of school. Now it's time to kick back, forget your troubles, and crack open a brand new video game. [gets out a copy of Super Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighter and smells it.] Love that new game smell. [Suddenly picks up another scent; one that worries him] Wait a minute. [sniffs again] Is that...Oh no!

[Soon, his sisters start picking up the scent as well]

Lucy: Sniff. Sniff.

Lincoln: Mom's expensive perfume. Which can only mean one thing. [checks the calendar and finds out what tonight is...] Date night! Which can only mean one other thing!

Rita: Lori's in charge, do as she says, bye! [leaves]

Lincoln: NOOOOOOOOO! She gets a sick thrill from bossing us around! In this house, we call her the Queen of-

Lori: [from upstairs] NO! [unplugs Luna's amplifiers] NO MUSIC! [tosses Lana's mud pie in the trash] NO MUD PIES! [approaches Leni who's talking on the phone] NO-

Leni: Way! That's totes cray cray.

Lori: [hangs up Leni's call] No phone calls. AND NO VIDEO GAMES! [takes away Lincoln's game]

The Sweet Spot (4.1)

Lincoln: The back row is so far away from Mom and Dad, that it turns into the wild, wild west.

[Flashback; Lola and Lana look at each other angrily while Lincoln is seen with a comic book and soda between them]

Lola: Stop looking at me.

Lana: You stop looking at me!

[Lola and Lana fight near Lincoln; The fight stops shortly with Lincoln looking messy]

Lincoln: Come on! We haven't even left the driveway yet!

Lynn Sr.: [crying over the destruction of Vanzilla caused by the siblings fighting over the best seat of Vanzilla] That was my first car, and my dad's first car, and his dad's first car!

Rita: (enraged] ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, BACK INSIDE! THE ROAD TRIP IS OFF! YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND THIS WEEKEND SITTING TOGETHER IN THE LIVING ROOM UNTIL YOU LEARN TO GET ALONG!!!

(The siblings groan at this)

A Tale of Two Tables (4.2)

Lana: Hey, Lincoln, do you like seafood? [sticks his tongue out to show chewed food See? Food. Bleh!

Lola: Hey, Lucy! [puts fries on outside of her mouth as if they were vampire fangs] I vant to suck your blood!

Lincoln: Can I have my dinner in peace?

Lana: Did you say "peas"?

Lincoln: Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you- [flatulence]

Lynn Sr.: Lincoln Loud, that is enough!

Project Loud House (5.1)

Lisa: [with a first aid ointment] Here's the antidote.

Lincoln: Thank you! [suspicious] Wait a second...

[He tests it on Walt the bird, who suddenly puffs up like a blimp]

Lincoln: [annoyed] The real antidote?

Lisa: Fine. Hairless apes: two, science: zero. [gives him the actual antidote and goes to the car]

Lincoln: [hands it to a relieved Leni] Here.

Lucy: [reads one of her poems] Failure. It's all your fault, this streak of bad luck. No escape from this cycle in which you are stuck.

Lincoln: Stop! I've got a poem for you now, it's called "Lucy"! Dark as night, hair like tar. Take your spooky self to the car.

Lucy: Sigh. Once again, your poetic brilliance has put me to shame.

In Tents Debate (5.2)

[the Loud sisters complain about their vacation campsite]

Lynn: That place is the worst! Bears always steal our food!

[Lily roars like a bear]

Leni: And we have to sleep on the hard ground!

Lola: And poop in the woods!

Lana: I like pooping in the woods.

[Lincoln runs out of his room screaming in pain from sunburn]

Lincoln: News flash: giving me a sunburn is NOT the way to win my vote!

Lori: Huh? [peels the label from the sunscreen bottle] "Sodium hydrochlorite: avoid contact with skin?" This has Lisa written all over it!

Leni: So, that's how you spell "Lisa"?

Sound of Silence (6.1)

[flashback: Lola tries to apply mascara when a frog croaks from behind her and makes her mess up]

Lana: Aw, you're a burpy-durpy today! Isn't he the cutest?

Lola: [chuckling menacingly under a wicked grin] So cute...

Lana: [about to feed the frog] Who's hungry? [notices he's missing] Seymour? Where'd you go? [sees Lola whistling and carrying a shovel] Nooo!! [end flashback]

Lana: I mean I can't prove she took out Seymour, but I never saw him again.

Lola: [comes into Lincoln's room] Lincoln, is this too much mascara? Be honest. It's super-super-super important!

Lincoln: [having muted Lola out] Ahh... I couldn't agree more!

Lola: [confused] Agree with what?

Lincoln: Right back at ya!

Lola: Okay, you're weird.

Space Invader (6.2)

[Lincoln goes up to Lynn and Lucy's room where the other girls are listening; Lynn and Lucy are having a fight]

Lynn: You're always Miss Gloom and Doom! Like, would it kill you to smile once in a while?!

Lucy: It would.

Lincoln: What's going on?

Lori: Lucy and Lynn are going at it. Again.

Luan: I'd make a joke about fighting, but I can't think of a good punchline. [laughs] Get it? Get it?

Lisa: [recording] Human subjects seem to be proving Charles Darwin correct.

Leni: I can't bare to watch! [puts cucumber slices over her facial mask] That's better.

[A jock strap comes flying out of the room and the others duck in time to avoid it]

Lori: I'd hate to get in the middle of this one.

Lincoln: I totally agree.

[Lynn and Lucy grab some spaghetti and start to fight with it]

Lincoln: Uh-oh.

[they start fighting for amusement and laughing, and Lincoln joins in]

Lori: Welp, I'm outskies.

Luan: Yeah, it's way pasta our bedtime.

Picture Perfect (7.1)

Lincoln: I've figured out the perfect present for Mom and Dad! [holds up camera] Ta-da!

Lana: You're giving them Dad's old camera?

Lola: Wow, you are cheap!

Lincoln: No, not the camera; a photograph of all of us!

Lori: Why use that old thing when you can just use a cellphone?

Lincoln: Because that would be like painting the Mona Lisa with a crayon.

[The girls are offended by Lincoln making them look normal]

Lori: So, that's what this is all about! You don't like us the way we are.

Lincoln: Well you see, that is to say--

Lori: Okay, guys, let's all put on perfect smiles for Lincoln's perfect picture, because heaven forbid we be our actual literal selves!

Undie Pressure (7.2)

[Luna is listening to the radio and listens to an announcement.]

Jay Rock: [over the radio] Hey, cats and kittens, this is Jay Rock here! I'm giving away Mick Swagger tickets to the caller with... the best British accent!

[Hearing this, Luna's eyes widen. She looks back and forth, slinks away to behind the curtains. and calls the radio station on her phone.]

Jay Rock: [on the phone] Hello, you're on the air! Let's hear your best British accent.

Luna: [whispering; in a British accent] Come on, love, hand over those tickets.

Jay Rock: Yeah, sorry, caller, I can't hear you!

Luna: [whispering, slightly louder] Come on, love, hand over those tickets!

Jay Rock: If you don't speak up, you can't win!

Luna: [shouting] HAND OVER THE BLEEDIN' TICKETS, MATE!

[Lincoln opens the curtains to reveal Luna to the other sisters.]

Luna: [sheepishly in a Swedish accent] Herdie-verdie?

[Buzzer noise]

Lola: [eyes beneath hair] You may have outlasted those amateurs, but now you've gotta deal with a real professional! [dramatic spotlight is cast on Lola, revealing that her face is messy]

Lincoln: I'M NOT GIVING UP! FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THINGS COMFORTABLE! [snaps the seat of his leggings, giving him pain] Ugh, gotta do something about these pants.

Linc or Swim (8.1)

[Lincoln finally jumps in, but the lifeguard blows her whistle and catches Lincoln with a skimmer]

Lifeguard: Loud family, out!

[the Loud kids leave the pool]

Lori: But we were just having fun.

Lily: Poo-poo.

Lifeguard: Fecal incidents are not fun.

[people in hazmat suits scrub the walls of the emptied pool to get rid of Lily's "poo-poo"]

[The girls are having a pool party right in their backyard while Lily is streaking]

Lincoln: [chasing her with her diaper] Lily! No skinny dipping! [gets splashed by Lynn and sees Lisa adding some kind of chemical] Lisa! No! What do you think you're doing?

Lisa: Testing sanitation levels. I've concocted a special serum that will detect and eliminate urine, AKA tinkle, in H2O.

Lincoln: I'm sure no one here would...

[Lisa adds the serum, which vaporizes the water into a pink smoke within seconds, revealing that her older sisters somehow tinkled in the pool]

Lisa: Hmm... unprecedented levels.

Luan: Marco!

Leni: Marco!

Luan: No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo.

Leni: Then who's Leni?

Changing the Baby (8.2)

Lincoln: Hey, Lana, you wanna try half of my peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich?

Lana: I eat some grody things, but that is disgusting. [sniffs it and retches; runs to the bathroom]

Leni: Help! [Lori and Lincoln rush to her rescue and see her in Lily's crib] Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Lily my fashion magazine, but now I can't get out of this baby prison! [bawls like a baby, so Lincoln and Lori help her out] Agoo.

Overnight Success (9.1)

Lola: [barges in with a makeup kit] Princess Makeover Time! [sees Lincoln's friend Liam] Ooh, a new toad! [she gives him a full makeover against his will, and Liam runs out the house]

Liam: Huh? Aah! I look like my MeeMaw!

Lola: Some people just don't appreciate beauty. I made your eyes pop, kid!

Lori: Okay, who wants pizza bites?

Clyde: Abort, abort, system shutting down.

Leni: Sheesh! Are there peanuts in everything?!

Ties That Bind (9.2)

Lori: [sees Leni with her tanktop] Is that my shirt?! Take it off!

Leni: I can't. [pointing to Mr. Coconuts] There are boys here!

[Mr. Coconuts raises his eyebrows and Luan covers his eyes]

Luan: Ah, coconuts!

[Lincoln overhears another conversation between his parents from the vent.]

Lynn Sr.: What do you mean we got a bun in the oven?!

Lincoln: [gasps] You guys! [runs off to tell his sisters]

Lynn Sr.: You know I'm gluten free!

Hand-Me-Downer (10.1)

Lincoln: Sometimes in life, you just gotta take chances. You know what they say: no risk, no re-wha!

Clyde: What's a "re-wah"?

Lincoln: [notices the bike is missing] My bike! It's gone!

Clyde: [to his mannequin] Manny! You were supposed to watch the bikes!

Lori: See, Lincoln? We all have to deal with hand-me-downs; we just learned to make the best of them.

Lincoln: You don't have to deal with them, you're the oldest!

Lori: Are you kidding me? This isn't really a tank top! It's literally the top of Mom's old girdle!

[the other Loud sisters are disgusted]

Lynn: Well, enough chit-chat. I gotta get to my competition. [takes Lori's hand-me-down bike.]

Lincoln: You're gonna ride that?!

Lynn: [annoyed] What choice do I have? [rides off]

Luan: [threateningly to Lincoln] You'd better not let Colonel Crackers get stolen!

[The rest of Lincoln's sisters go back inside, tired of Lincoln's behavior.]

Colonel Crackers: "Hey! You heard the lady!"

[Lincoln looks on in remorse and fear.]

Sleuth or Consequences (10.2)

[Lincoln shuffles deck of cards with pictures of his sisters on onto his desk]

Lincoln: One of you is the perp, but which one?

Lucy: [comes out of nowhere] Hey, Linc. [scares Lincoln] I might have a tip for you.

Lincoln: Really? Wait. Why do you wanna help?

Lucy: I don't care about being grounded. My life is just an endless mental prison, anyway. But it's not fair that you have to miss your thing.

Lynn: Woohoo! My team did it! We're number one! [diarrhea] Ooh! Time for Number 2! [hurries to the bathroom]

Lana: Dad! I think we're gonna need Big Bertha again!

Butterfly Effect (11.1)

Lincoln: [he and Charles see that Lisa's room is a mess] Yikes. I better go tell Lisa.

[Lincoln's imagination: Lisa observes the damage in a dark, stylized environment]

Lisa: [turning red with anger, with her teeth sharpened] You've... COMPLETELY DESTROYED MY LIFE'S WORK! I DESPISE YOU, AND YOU NO LONGER EXIST TO ME!

[a wall of fire burns in the background behind her, along with a cultist choir]

Lincoln: Boy, am I glad that nightmare's over. [hears a bicycle bell outside, looks out and sees Lori and Clyde riding a tandem bike dragging a string of cans and a sign reading "JUST MARRIED"] (Except that one.) Ahh!

The Green House (11.2)

Mrs. Johnson: What's that? You hate polar bears, you're a polar bear hater!?

Lincoln: [still muffled, his head above the ceiling] No! I love them! They're cool!

[kids boo at Lincoln]

Female Student 1: If you make us lose, Lincoln, you'll be an outcast!

Girl Jordan: You might as well throw your social life out the window.

[the Loud sisters unplug the TV, and are revealed to wear nothing but potato sacks for tops and bandages for shoes, stink, and begin scolding Lincoln furiously]

Lori: Game over, Lincoln!

Lincoln: It's not what it looks like!

Lori: We're up there making all these sacrifices, and you're down here playing some stupid computer game?!

Lincoln: OK, so maybe it is what it looks like.

Lynn: If you don't wanna give anything up, why should we?

Lincoln: But... but... [shows poster] Polar bear?

[The girls are starting to feel remorse again, but this time, they snap out of it.]

Lola: Aww... Wait a minute, you can't use that on us anymore!

Lori: Come on, girls. Let's go get our stuff back.

Leni: [holding up her glass of air] And a refill!

Along Came a Sister (12.1)

Mrs. Johnson: Now, Lincoln, this is a major responsibility. Frank needs to be fed twice a day, and under no circumstances should he be let out of his cage. [chuckling to herself] Unlike me this weekend.

[The kids glance awkwardly at each other]

Leni: Oh, I need milk.

[She opens the fridge, where Frank happens to be on the milk bottle]

Lisa: Wait! [slams fridge shut] You're lactose intolerant!

Leni: No, I'm not. I'm tolerant of everyone, whether they lack toes or not.

Leni: [Frank plops right onto her glass] Ha! Nice try, Luan, but I'm not falling for another one of your fake spiders, though this one looks pretty real. [Frank blinks] AAAAH! SPIDER! [busts out the bug spray]

non-Leni Loud kids: Nooo!

Leni: [unleashes a massive spray cloud and runs off] WORST SURPRISE PARTY EVER!

Lincoln: I'll miss you, Frank, but I'm glad things are gonna be back to normal around here.

Leni: [brushing her hair] 20. 21. 22. 23.

[it is revealed that Frances laid her egg sac in the vents; the babies hatch and scurry into Leni's room]

Leni: AAAAAAAAAH! SPIDERS!

Chore and Peace (12.2)

Lincoln: "Can I get a little help here?"

Lori: [refuses to help him] Can't you see I'm doing the laundry? [laughs] LOL, Bobby!

Lincoln: [unable to hold the bag] WHOA! [gets crushed; finally gets the bag out to the curb only to find that the weight from it has torn a hole in it and the trash has been scattered everywhere] Dang it.

Luna: So, what'a ya think, Chunk?

Chunk: It stinks.

Luna: Way harsh, dude.

Chunk: Not the song, your room. Chunk's gotta blow. [leaves]

[The doorbell rings; Lincoln answers it]

Reporter: Hi, we're from the Miss Cute N' Mean pageant, here to do a behind the scenes interview with Miss Lola Loud.

Lola: [singing as she comes down in her trash-themed ensemble] Here she is! The next Cute N' Mean! [fart]

Reporter: Ew! More like Miss Gross N' Gnarly! Interview over! [the crew leaves]

Lincoln: Hang on, Lily! I'm coming! [dives into laundry flooding the basement, but starts to "drown"] So...much...underwear!

Lori: [pulling him out] Yeah, and that's just Dad's.

For Bros About to Rock (13.1)

Lincoln: Clyde! Line's moving!

[They try to get their spot back, but their place in line loses completely]

Sean Gantka: Hey! No cuts, kid!

Mollie Freilich: Back of the line, line cutter!

Lincoln: But that was our spot! [Two people ignores him. To Clyde, pushing him] Come on.

[A cop disguised as a scalper gives Lincoln and Clyde tickets]

Lincoln and Clyde: We're in! [they are handcuffed]

Cop: You're in alright: "in"-carcerated!

Clyde: Are those good seats?

Cop: Buying scalped tickets is illegal. Let's go, hooligans!

[Bobby, a mall cop, unknowingly sees through Luna's disguise]

Bobby: Hey Luna!

Captain: You know their mother?

Bobby: That's not their mother! That's his sister! Nice wig by the way.

Captain: "Wig"?!

[Luna giggles nervously]

Scoots: Oh, snap.

It's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud, House (13.2)

[the Loud kids fight over a quarter Lincoln finds]

Rita: What are they fighting over this time? A nickel under the ottoman?

Lynn Sr.: Nope! A quarter down the sofa.

Rita: We better stop them before they start biting.

Lincoln: [Lola bites him] Ow, Lola!

Lynn Sr.: Too late!

[the parents see the kids cheering over the treasure]

Rita: I have to admit, it's nice to see them sharing money and not fighting over it.

Lynn Sr.: Yep. All part of Sharon's plan.

Rita: Was destroying the house part of Sharon's plan?

[overview of the damaged house interior]

Lynn Sr.: No. No, it was not.

Rita: Well, now she can Sharon DeCleanUp! [hands him a broom]

Toads and Tiaras (14.1)

Lana: Darn you, Lincoln! I am in... but wait, what if Lola finds out? You know what she's capable of.

[an image of Lola looking on wickedly with hellfire and an evil choir is shown, causing Lincoln and Lana to shudder with fear]

Lincoln: [sees a cameraman] I didn't know this was going to be on TV. Good thing we don't get the Princess Channel!

[Though, Lynn Sr does just that so that a recuperating Lola can watch the pageant]

Lola: Thanks for getting me the Princess Channel, daddy!

Lynn Sr.: No problem, sweetie. It was either that or the sports channel, and who needs that, huh? [crying]

Two Boys and a Baby (14.2)

[Luan and Lynn eating weird food]

Lori: Ew! When was this pudding made?!

Lisa: [examining the can] Seeing as this flag on the label only has 48 stars--

[Lily shoots her farts against Lincoln and Clyde, who run for the window and gasp for fresh air]

Clyde: It's practically radioactive!

Lincoln: Huh. Radioactive, you say?

Cover Girls (15.1)

Lisa: [from Lincoln's bedroom window] Approach at a 63 degree angle! :[Lincoln jumps but crashes into his wall, making a big hole. Luan covers the hole with a poster.]

Lisa: Correction: 62 degrees!

[Lincoln weakly gives a thumbs up.]

Rita: [coming upstairs] Lucy? Lynn? How's the cleaning coming?

Lincoln: [determined] This calls for...the Trunk! [opens up his trunk and takes out some items; now wearing a wig like Lucy's hair and imitating her melancholy demeanor] I scrub and scrub, yet the stain of human suffering remains.

Rita: [uneasy] Okay.

[Now Lincoln is disguised like Lynn.]

Lincoln: [imitating Lynn] Not me, Mom! I'm knocking these dust balls out of the park!

Rita: [carrying a bunch of towels] Good to hear. [Lincoln sighs with relief] Leni, how's your spring cleaning coming?

Lincoln: [lunges into Lori and Leni's doorway; imitating Leni] Good! As soon as I find those springs, I'll clean them!

Save the Date (15.2)

[Lincoln comes home after school]

Lori: You MONSTER! [throws a tissue box at Lincoln]

Lincoln: Ow! What was that for?

Lori: You made Ronnie Anne CRY!

Lincoln: Cry? I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?

[Lori throws a teddy bear at Lincoln, who jumps out of the way]

Lori: Bobby told me... [starts to cry] RIGHT BEFORE HE BROKE UP WITH ME!

Lincoln: What? Why does Bobby care? [Lori throws a couch cushion at Lincoln, prompting him to duck; she opens a photo album showing a picture of Bobby and Ronnie Anne together]

Lori: Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!

Lincoln: Ronnie Anne has a brother?! I thought she was raised by trolls.

[Lori throws a bunch of CDs in rapid fire fashion; Lincoln shields himself with the cushion]

Lori: D'AAAAHH!! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT!

[Lori chases after Lincoln, who hides behind the chair; he trips, and Lori catches him and holds him up by his shirt]

Lori: You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne!

Lincoln: Okay! Okay! I'll call her right now and apologize! [picks up the phone]

Lori: NO! [hangs up the phone] Nuh-uh! Actions speak louder than words! Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double date!

Lincoln: WHAT?!

Lori: It's all been arranged! We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at six! AND YOU'LL! MAKE HER! FEEL! LIKE THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL! IN THE WORLD!

Lincoln: [gags] I'd rather lick the bathroom...

[Lori picks up the end table and threatens to crush him with it]

Lincoln: I'll go iron my khakis!

[Lincoln runs out of the scene]

[Joy Cunningham goes over to Lori and kicks the blonde in the crotch, making Lori drop the end table on her]

Lori: Ouch! Right in the round tables.

Joy Cunningham: Good for you! You deserve it! Lincoln didn't insult Ronnie Anne! Name Dropper and Green Trunko told him to!

Lori: I'll apologize for my bossiness!

Fear: NO! Nuh-uh! Expressions speak louder than actions and words! We literally have to see you being nice to Lincoln.

Anger: He's right! [sternly] What would you do if you're so smart, Lori?

Disgust: Take this you literal stupid blonde!

[Disgust punches Lori's eye, making it swell]

Sadness: You get another kick in the crotch!

[Sadness kicks Lori in the crotch; only this time, Sadness grabs out a knife and stabs her in the groin}

Fear: Let that be a lesson to you! Lori!

Attention Deficit (16.1)

[Lincoln and Clyde walk by Flip's juice cart]

Clyde: Oh, hang on, Lincoln. I'm gonna get volcano Lori a juice. Running from Bobby's tormented screams has made her thirsty.

Lynn: Hey, Lincoln! [examines him] You look different.

Lincoln: My sideburns are even.

Lynn: No, it's more than that. Your skin is glowing, you look taller, and you smell like... [smells him] ...organic Brussels sprouts? Okay, what gives?

Lincoln: I spent tonight at Clyde's. His dads helped me with my volcano and served me food with no foil and asked me about my day!

Lynn: Get out! That sounds amazing! [thinks for a second] Hey, do you think they could help me with my baseball swing?

Lincoln: Sure. I think Clyde said one of his dads played ball in college. Why don't you come over after school tomorrow?

Lynn: Oh, that would be awesome! [playfully punches his arm]

Lincoln: Ow! Lynn, do you mind? Clyde's dads just gave me my vaccinations.

Out on a Limo (16.2)

[Limo arrives at Burpin' Burger and takes the drive-thru]

Employee: [On audio box] Welcome to Burpin' Burger. May I take your order?

Luna: Eleven burgers and fries, love.

Lincoln: Don't forget one for Kirby.

Kirby: Thank you, sir. I mean, Lincoln.

Lincoln: [to the viewers while holding a burger] The only thing better than being a man in a limo is being a family in a limo.

[Everyone is enjoying their burgers when Tetherby's limo drives up to Lincoln's]

Tetherby: I say, Loud, it's good to see you back in a limo. What say you ditch the riffraff and come back to the club?

[Tetherby's invitation surprises Lincoln as he darts his eyes at his sisters and Kirby who are afraid he'll leave them]

Lincoln: You know what, Tetherby? How about some... [he and his sisters squirt Tetherby and his limo with mustard] ...mustard to go with that baloney!

[And with that, they drive off, singing the Burpin' Burger jingle]

Lincoln: ♫Hungry, y'all? Look no further!♫

Loud Kids: ♫Come on down to Burpin' Burger / Grade B Beef and special spice / When it comes back up, it's twice as nice!♫ [burp on cue]

House Music (17.1)

[Luna has a fantasy]

Mick Swagger: And now, I'd like to introduce the greatest musical discovery of my 40 year career: Luna Loud!

[Luna starts rocking out as the crowd chants "Luna"]

Leni: [singing] ♫Backup backup backup!♫

Luna: No no no no. Leni, you don't actually sing the words "Backup". You sing what's on the page.

Leni: Oh. Got it! [singing] ♫What's on the page! What's on the page! What's on the pa-haaaaaage!♫

Red Hemka: [sternly] Oh, I got an even better song! This one's called, Leni is a stupid blonde!

A Novel Idea (17.2)

Rita: Hey, come on. I know it's not as exciting as Dad's office, but you're Lincoln Loud. You can make anything fun.

Lincoln: Well, I guess that's true. Okay. I'm in.

Mr. Grouse: Nice dress, Loud!

Lincoln: [coughs] Right after I change.

Lincoln: Just another routine job for Agent-- [sees the girls] Oh, for crying out Loud!

[the girls and Dad are all having a suction cup dart fight]

Lincoln: [trips over the floss and the supplies from the cabinet of fun fall on top of him] Dang it!

April Fools Rules (18.1)

Lola: Arms up, Lincoln! Your turn for bubble-wrap.

Lincoln: [puts his hand in front of Lola] Not this year, Lola. I'm not getting pranked.

[Loud girls chatter]

Lola: It's never been done!

Lynn: Are you crazy?

Lincoln: Ladies! Ladies! I got a plan! I'm simply gonna lock myself in my room till the day's over. I've got snacks, video games and a hose to pee in, which I call the Tinkle Tube. Patent pending.

Lori, Leni, Luna, Lynn, Lucy, Lola and Lily: Ew!

Lana: Cool!

Lincoln: [points to his window] It goes out the window! The point is, I'll never have to leave my room so Luan will never get me.

[The siblings look frightened as they hear Luan coming up the stairs while holding a sausage]

Luan: Ooh! It's Pranksmas Eve...and I'm just bubbling with excitement. [pops a piece of Lola's bubble wrap and walks away]

Lola: I'm gonna need more bubble wrap! And a fresh pair of undies.

Cereal Offender (18.2)

Woman: Ahh! There's a child in the frozen peas! Ahh!

Lincoln: [finds that it's Lisa] Lisa! What are you doing?

Lisa: Research for my cryogenic freezer. The future needs my brain.

Lincoln: I don't believe this.

Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru (19.1)

Clyde: [he and Lincoln try to make balloon animals; one of them pops] Lincoln! Look professional! We've got a customer!

Liam: Uh, I'll take the, uh, cheeseburger?

Clyde: It's a bunny rabbit.

[Lincoln and Clyde both run down the hallway when Kat screams and an explosion is heard]

Zach: I was trying to impress you with my basic chemistry skills!

Kat: You burnt my braids, you doofus!

Zach: He told me to do it!

Kat: What?!

Come Sale Away (19.2)

Luna: [knocks on the door] Hello, ma'am!

Lola: [shoves Luna aside] Did you buy a blanket?

Luna: [shoves Lola aside] From a garage sale today?

Woman: I didn't buy a blanket, but I did buy this hunk of junk! [holds up a vacuum cleaner which explodes in her face] I want my money back!

Luna and Lola: Uh, [point at each other] she sold it to you!

Flip: [pouring chemicals into a washer fluid bottle] I'm lovin' these 2-for-1 chemicals, I'm gonna make a fortune selling them as windshield wiper fluid! Ha ha, suckers! [boom] Well, the lil' Psychic Girl was right. Business is booming.

Roughin' It (20.1)

[Lincoln is knitting headbands with Luna]

Luna: You got it bro! These accessories will make our outfits rockin!

Lincoln: Rocking!

Luna: And if you braid the strands real tight, they're strong enough to use as ropes. Right, Chunk?

Chunk: [pulling on a rope] Right as rain, love. [notices the piano is too big for the window] We're gon'a need a bigger window though.

The Waiting Game (20.2)

Lincoln: I don't get it. How could Chandler not invite us? I loaned him a pencil in math class and held the bathroom door open for him!

Clyde: And I made eye contact with him everyday like this! [takes off his glasses revealing his astigmatic eyes] Who wouldn't want this face at a party?

Lincoln: Hey, ready for your dance? You're not wearing that, are you?

[Lori wearing her employee uniform with her dance dress hung up on the door.]

Lori: I'm not going to the dance. My boss is making me work tonight to pay for all the free stuff I gave you. Instead of Romance Under the Sea, I'm gonna have mozzarella under the fingernails. Thanks a lot, Lincoln. [leaves for her overtime shift]

The Loudest Yard (21.1)

[two stinkers named Hank and Hawk confront Lynn and Lincoln]

Hank: What team are you on?

Lincoln: The Royal Woods Roosters!

Lincoln & Lynn: [waving their hands high up] Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Hawk: Nice cheer. When we play you, you're cock-a-doodle-doomed!

Hank: Yeah! I'm gonna pluck me a few feathers! [their laugh which irks Lynn]

[At Lincoln and Lynn's big game, the rest of the Loud family are at the big game; Lori is using binoculars to find Lincoln]

Lori: I literally don't see Lincoln anywhere. [spots him right in front of her face and shrieks in surprise]

Raw Deal (21.2)

Leni: I can't wait to see Pop-Pop! [her siblings look at her confused] The guidebook said there was an old geezer in the park.

Lincoln: Geyser, not geezer. See? Here it is. [shows her said geyser in the guidebook]

Lisa: Well, Lucy, I guess you'll be throwing out those silly cards now that you've been completely discredited.

Lucy: Wrong, I can prove fortune telling is real with one last prediction: [draws one more card] "The end is near!"

Lisa: Oh please, gimme a-

[end card in the style of Lucy's fortune telling cards with a dowl on it]

Lucy: Told ya, he cards don't lie.

Dance Dance Resolution (22.1)

[Lincoln's sisters scare him]

Leni: So did Ronnie Anne ask you to the Sadie Hawkins Dance?

Lincoln: [stammering] Uh, yee, uh, um...

Lori: I bet she was so excited. The Sadie Hawkins is literally the most important dance in a girl's life.

Lincoln: [acting melancholy] Hi, I'm Lincoln.

Haiku: Hi, Lincoln. Wanna hear my poem? "Empty, lonely, dark. The universe is weeping. I have no tissues." Okay, your turn.

Lincoln: Uh... "Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water..."

Haiku: Oh, yes. The futility of teamwork. Deep stuff.

[Lincoln's dates confront Lincoln]

Lincoln: You guys, I'm sorry. I can explain.

Tabby: Wait, let me go first. I'm sorry to say this, Lincoln, but would you mind if I hung out with somebody else for the rest of the night? I really hit it off with that guy, Liam.

Giggles: Yeah, and I'm having a really great time with Zach.

Haiku: Yes, and I enjoy Clyde. We share the same pain.

Polly: Same with me and Rusty; though, the pain is mostly his.

Lincoln: Sure. No problem. I'm glad you're all having fun.

A Fair to Remember (22.2)

Lori: What do I do? I'm sick of Lincoln crashing our dates, but it makes Bobby so happy. He says Lincoln's like the brother he never had.

Leni: I know; why don't you hang out with Bobby's little sister Ronnie Anne, she could be like the sister you never had! [Lori and Lucy just awkwardly stare at her for that statement]

[As she waits for her car, he hears Lori crying]

Car Salesman: Miss, your vehicle is okay. He's in the service department fixing it.

Lori: He's not my vehicle. I literally don't think I have a vehicle anymore! [cries]

One of the Boys (23.1)

[Lisa presses the button on the watch and a portal opens up.]

Lincoln: Holy moly! Awesome! [proceeds to enter it, but stops] Wait, why are you doing this for me?

Lisa: I need beta testers. Now, are we doing this, or am I sending Lana to a dimension where she's a toad?

Lincoln: Oh, we're doing it!

[Gus' Games and Grub]

Loki: Five pies for ten guys!

Lane: I sure hope Mom and Dad gave us enough... dough! [laughs] Get it?!

ALT. Lynn Sr.: Hey, boys!

Leif: PILE ON DAD!

[Lynn Sr. screams as his sons pounce on him.]

Levi: We got you!

Lars: Say uncle.

Loni: [confused] I thought he was our dad.

ALT. Lynn Sr.: [begging for mercy] UNCLE!

[The boys run into the house, cheering and laughing.]

ALT. Lynn Sr.: [groans in pain] Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have daughters.

Lori: [livid] That was literally mine! You are so gonna pay!

Lincoln: [fearing] Please don't stick my head down the toilet!

Lori: What? I meant with money.

Lincoln: Oh, of course. That's more than fair.

Lola: [scoffs] Breaking Lori's watch? You sir, have no class! [storms off]

[The sisters all go back to bed.]

Lincoln: I'm so glad my sisters are nothing like my brothers.

Lynn: Hey, Lincoln, I almost forgot something. [pantses him and runs off laughing]

Lincoln: Except for Lynn.

A Tattler's Tale (23.2)

Lincoln: [to the viewers] What can I say? We're not angels. Sometimes, we mess up. But the great thing is, if you need to get something off your chest, you can always trust your siblings. [a knock at the door is heard] Well, not all of them.

[Lincoln walks up to the door and opens it, revealing to be Lola; She enters the room]

Lola: Whatcha guys talkin about?

Lisa: Quantum physics!

Lynn: Monster trucks!

Lori: Bobby!

Leni: Politics!

Lynn: Baseball!

Luan: Jokes!

Lana: Global warming!

Lola: You're telling secrets again, aren't you? It's not fair! I never get included!

Lincoln: That's because you're a tattle-tale, Lola.

Lola: [scoffs] I am NOT! [Lincoln and the others look at her with disbelief while a cricket chirps] Okay, I'll admit I used to be a tattle-tale, but I changed! [Everybody still doesn't believe her as they murmur to each other; Lola growls loudly, tosses her tiara aside in fury, and screams at the top of her lungs] MOM! THEY WON'T LET ME IN THEIR SECRET SECRETS CLUB!!!

[As Lola storms out of the room, Lincoln quickly shuts the door; Lisa checks her list of secrets]'

Lisa: Mmm. So where were we?

Lincoln: I broke Dad's disco ball, Lori scratched the car, Luna caused the blackout, and Lucy ruined Mom's wedding dress. Who's next?

Lana: [raising her hand] Ooh! Ooh! So you know how Dad was yelling at Charles for chewing up his boots? [giggles] That was me!

[The siblings begin laughing]

Luan: [with realization] Wait a second. Weren't those steel toe?

Funny Business (24.1)

Lincoln:​ Boy, we are killing it. But I've been thinking, maybe you should do a little less of the talky stuff and more of the pratfalls.

[Enraged, Luan drops all of her supplies and turns to Lincoln, he's shocked]

Luan:​ Are you kidding me?!

​Lincoln:​ What?

Luan:​ Look, Lincoln. Just because you got a few laughs does not make you an expert on clowning. There's a lot more to it than just falling on your butt.

Lincoln:​ Well, the audience sure seems to like my --

Luan:​ Lincoln, enough! No more pratfalls. I am the clown. YOU are the assistant. Now go refill these whoopee cushions.

Lincoln:​ But they're already inflated.

Luan:​ [deflates them at her brother's face] Not anymore!

[Luan walks to the house, opens the door, then slams it]

Lincoln:​ Oh, yeah?! Well, that would've been funnier if you'd fallen on your butt!

Snow Bored (24.2)

Lisa: This just in: there will not be a snow day tomorrow. Once I spray my super strength salt across the city roadways, we shall have no trouble accessing school.

Loud Kids: BOO! [they throw pillows at her]

Lola: WHY WOULD YOU RUIN OUR SNOW DAY?!

Lisa: [clears her throat and pulls a chart down] For every school day you miss, your brain functionality decreases by approximately 0.006%.

Leni: But Lisa, snow days are F-O-N! Fun!!!

Lisa: [presses a button and the chart goes up] I rest my case. Besides, I fail to see how frolicking in frozen temperatures like a bunch of nincompoops is fun.

Lincoln: What if we could show you how fun snow days can be? Then would you call off the salt?

Leni: Yeah! [chanting] F-O-N! F-O-N!

Loud Kids: F-O-N! F-O-N!

Lisa: FINE! But only because I can't stand to hear you spell erroneously.

[The others walk away cheering]

Leni: Wait - I thought we were spelling "fun"?

The Price of Admission (25.1)

Old Man: I got hearts, kidneys, and ears-- [rises up a hoe and digs deep into something]

Lincoln: The Harvester! [runs away]

[it's actually just Mr. Grouse tending to his garden]

Mr. Grouse: Romaine lettuce, kidney beans and ears of corn. You never heard of a guy growing his own vegetables before?

Lincoln: Okay, Question 63: What does "going Dutch" mean, and does it have anything to do with Dutch ovens?

Lori: Hmm. [phone beep] Session's over, Lincoln. I have to talk to Bobby; he started his new pizza delivery job tonight.

Bobby: Check it, babe. I spelled your name with pepperonis. [the pizza, pepperoni spelling "Lory", slides right out of the box] That's coming out of my paycheck.

One Flu Over the Loud House (25.2)

Lisa: In case we're attacked, this concoction will slow down the infected. [blasts Lincoln]

Lincoln: [tasting the concoction] Tastes like chicken soup.

Lisa: That's because it is chicken soup. [hands gun to him]

Lincoln: Safe Haven, we're back in. What is this crisis you were talking about?

Clyde: I made a peanut sauce for the Sante Fe egg rolls. But then I realized someone might have a food allergy.

Lincoln: That's the crisis?! We're fighting for our lives, Clyde! No one has a food allergy!

Clyde: That's a relief, 'cause this sauce really ties the dish together. Safe Haven out.

Study Muffin (26.1)

[The doorbell rings and Lincoln answers it to find a good looking fellow at the door.]

Hugh: Um... I beg your pardon. Is this the Loud residence?

Lincoln: Yep. You must be my tutor. I'm Lincoln.

Hugh: [shakes Lincoln's hand] I'm Hugh. Quite chuffed to meet you.

Lincoln: Uh...the chuff is all mine. Come on in.

[They both head inside and begin their study session.]

Lincoln: I really appreciate this, Hugh. I have a big multi-subject test coming up, and I need to ace it.

[Enter Lori on her phone.]

Lori: So, I'm like, if you literally don't know the difference between dance team and color guard- [gasps at the sight of Hugh and drops her phone; now stammering.] Ba...ba...ba...

Lincoln: Lori, you okay?

Lori: [speechless] Er...um...yes. [picks up her phone] I was just going to get a...hunk of meat. I mean, a...dish of cereal. Er, tall drink of water?

[She turns and smacks into the wall, dropping her phone again.]

Hugh: Miss, you dropped your mobile.

[He picks it up and hands it to her. Lori fawns awkwardly and Lana enters with a net.]

Lana: I heard a goose! I call dibs! [sees Hugh and gets the same reaction as Lori; blushing] Ba...ba...ba...

[Enter Leni wearing a facial mask.]

Leni: I heard a sheep. [removes the cucumber slices on her eyes and sees Hugh] AAH! MY FACE! [runs off]

[The rest of Lincoln's sisters minus Lily show up with their things. They see Hugh and react like Lori and Lana]

Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola and Lisa: [blushing] Ba...ba...ba...

[Leni returns without her facial mask.]

Leni: Hey, guys. Lincoln, I didn't know you were entertaining. Hi. I'm- [sees Hugh up-close and reacts the same way] Ba...ba...ba...ba...

Hugh: Um, hello. I'm Hugh, Lincoln's tutor. It's lovely to meet you all.

Sisters: [infatuated] Ba...ba...ba...

[Family meeting in the living room.]

Lincoln: You guys are unbelievable! The minute a good-looking guy with an accent shows up, you all go completely bonkers!

Leni: That is so not true! [she is revealed to be wearing a sweater decidated to Hugh] I've got these Hugh sweaters in small, medium and large.

Other sisters and Lynn Sr.: Ooh!

Lincoln: This has to end. I need to study, or I'm gonna flunk 5th grade! So from now on, Hugh is off-limits!

[The girls complain about this and walk away with disappointment.]

Lynn Sr.: [in a British accent] Now, girls. You heard Lincoln.

Lincoln: [agitated] Uh, that means you too, Dad.

Lynn Sr.: [disappointed] Oh! [walks away]

[The next day, Lincoln returns home from school with a disappointed look on his face.]

Lynn: How'd the test go, bro? You aced it?

Lincoln: [angrily] No! I got an F! [slumps on the floor]

Luan: [takes the test and looks at it] Oh, and a frowny face. That's cold! [pulls out a phone] I know just Hugh to call! [laughs] Get it?

[The girls start fighting over who should call him.]

Lana: I'm calling Hugh!

Lola: No, me!

Lori: I'm calling Hugh!

Lincoln: I don't get it. I thought I knew all the answers. [sighs] Ms. DiMartino is definitely gonna flunk me now.

[The girls stop fighting.]

Lynn: Wait. Ms. DiMartino?

Lincoln: Yeah. She's been our substitute teacher since Mrs. Johnson broke her leg riding a mechanical bull.

Luna: Dude, no wonder you're failing. Ms. D is so smokin', guys go completely bonkers around her.

Lori: Yeah. Even Bobby nearly flunked because of her. Of course, that was BL: Before Lori. [grimly] Or he never would have noticed her.

Lincoln: But that couldn't happen to me! [thinking] Could it?

Lincoln: [realizes] Holy shmoly! You guys are right! I do go completely bonkers around Ms. DiMartino, just like you guys did around Hugh!

[The girls are all wearing Hugh sweaters.]

Leni: I don't know why you keep saying that. By the way, if Hugh and I ever got married and had a baby, here's what it would look like. [shows an online baby picture she made]

Lisa: Oh, Leni, you're delusional. Because I'm gonna marry him, and our progeny is gonna look like this. [shows her online baby]

[The girls start fighting again, this time over who will marry Hugh.]

Lincoln: Guys, you gotta help me! I don't wanna flunk fifth grade! Clyde could end up as a tattooed litterbug!

James and Dexter: EVERYONE! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Again, the girls stop fighting, when James and Dexter yell at them. And puzzled by what Lincoln said.]

Lincoln: It made sense when he said it.

Luan: Maybe you can get Ms. DiMartino to let you retake the test.

Lincoln: But as long as she's anywhere near me, I'm still gonna blow it!

Lisa: Well then, the solution would be to remove her from your field of vision. Observe. [she takes Lori's phone with Hugh's pic] Lori, what is Bobby's full name?

Lori: Roberto Alejandro Martinez- [shown the pic and fawns] Roberto Alejandro- [shown the pic and fawns again] Roberto- [shown and fawning again]

Lisa: And now to delete.

Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, and Lola: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Lisa deletes the Hugh image which is now replaced with a picture of Lori taking a duckface selfie.]

Lori: [shakes her head and comes to her senses.] Roberto Alejandro Martinez-Millan Luis Santiago, Jr.

Lisa: Case closed.

Homespun (26.2)

Lori: AAH! DANG IT!

[In the kitchen, Lincoln is taking out the trash when he hears Lori scream]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] Sounds like someone got trapped in the bathroom again.

[Inside the bathroom, Lori, wearing a bathrobe and towel on her head, is holding the doorknob to the bathroom door, which just broke off; She growls at this]

Lori: Somebody let me out! Bobby's coming over to study, and I only have three hours to get ready! [Lori struggles to open the bathroom door, when suddenly, she slips; She grabs hold of the shower curtain, but it rips off; The pole holding the curtain bonks Lori on the head; Lori growls even louder at this string of events] THIS HOUSE IS LITERALLY FALLING APART!!!

Lincoln: [to the viewers] Lori's right. With 11 kids, four pets... and two parents who insist on fixing everything themselves, our house is a bit of a, how do I put this nicely, disaster.

Lynn Sr.: All right, everyone, back inside.

[Lynn Sr. attempts to open the door, only for the door handle to break off]

Loud Family: Dang it!