Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 | Main

Rick and Morty (2013–present) is an American adult animated science-fiction sitcom created by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon for Adult Swim. The series follows the misadventures of the cynical mad scientist, Rick Sanchez, and his fretful and easily influenced grandson, Morty Smith, who split their time between domestic family life and interdimensional adventures.

Solaricks [6.01]

Rick: Ugh... I guess this is how it ends. I thought I was better than this. Dramatic voiceover while stranded in space? I-I guess when you're dying, the first thing to go is your creativity. Citadel's gone, and the saucer we escaped in is out of power. The extra Mortys went feral... [some Mortys are shown ganging up on and devouring another] eh, some problems solved themselves.

[Rick and Morty lie around weakly, with Rick addressing the viewer]

Rick: Been drinking a lot... [to Morty, annoyed] Morty, I told you to write this down! I-I don't have a helmet like that Avengers guy did! [facing the viewer again] Been drinking a lot of my piss. Portal gun's still broken...

Morty: [unsuccessfully testing the gun] I guess that was all part of Evil Morty's plan.

Rick: "Evil Morty" - c-can we stop flattering this guy?! His plan was to monologue and fuck off! He basically threw a tantrum to announce he was quitting Twitter.

Morty: Nobody quits Twitter. Hey, remember, like a second ago, when you pretended to not know who Iron Man was? Who was that for?

Rick: Sh-Shush, shush, Morty. This is how we go. Bear it with grace. [as Morty lies down next to him] Spinal cord, Robitussin as a base, then surprise me.

[After they lie in silence for a moment, the sound of tapping on glass is heard. They turn to see Space Beth doing it from outside]

Morty: Mom!

Rick: Beth, maybe!

[Beth cups her hands and begins to speak, but Rick and Morty hear nothing]

Rick: Is she trying to say something? [yells] W-We can't hear you! How dumb are...?! Beth, you're in a vacuum! Sound travels on air! Why am I yelling?

[Beth projects a message with her wrist device: "Is this a private party or can anyone join?". Rick and Morty look annoyed]

Morty: Wow, great.

Rick: Yeah, that's... wow. Really worth it. That was not worth it! It's corny! [gesturing, while Morty gives a thumbs down] You, corn! Dying of starvation here!

[Beth frowns and projects "When I decided to say it, I didn't know it would be..."]

Morty: Oh my God, stop explaining! Stop explaining!

Rick: Are you finished?!

[Beth projects "...subjected to this scrutiny."]

Rick: She's not finished.

[Beth projects "Maybe I won't rescue you."]

Morty: Oh, nice.

Rick: Oh, real mature. R-Real classy.

[Rick and Morty start flashing green with a pulsing sound]

Rick: Oh shit...

Morty: Wait, what? Wh-What's happening?!

Rick: Instead of resetting portal travel, I may have reset portal travellers. Too late to apologize.

Jerry: [enters, also pulsing green] Rick, why am I pulsing green? And don't say you don't know, because you're pulsing green.

Morty: Rick, are we about to die?!

Rick: [putting a makeshift device together] No, we're about to vanish from this reality.

Jerry: That's totally dying!

Rick: No, it isn't! It's everyone from this reality returning to their reality of origin.

Morty: Back to our original universes...!

Rick: I explained it fine, Morty, you're spoon-feeding spoons. Where's Summer?

Summer: [enters] Oh nice, you guys are back. [notices the flashing] Whoa...

Rick: Summer, three of us are one-way blind hopping. [hands her the device] You gotta help us get back. There's a protocol for this in your chore-server, filename "Booger AIDs".

Summer: Every file is "Booger AIDs"!

Rick: I—I hate naming things! Just.. search for words like "one-way blind hop, reset map beacon".

Jerry: [aghast] Why do I have a reality of origin?!

Rick: There's no time to explain, Jerry! Counting on you, Summer! "One-way blind hop beacon protocol"! HERE WE GOOOOOOO...!

[Nothing happens for a while, though the pulsing speeds up]

Jerry: So there was time to explain.

Rick: Don't waste extra precious seconds with your pettiness, Jerry! Summer, let's rundown--

Summer: "One-way blind hop, reset beacon, Booger AIDs".

Rick: Cool. [waits for a moment] Wow.

Jerry: [angrily] THERE WAS SO MUCH TIME TO EXPLAIN!

Rick: Yes! Fine! Hindsight is 20-20! Who has ever taken this long to vanish?

Jerry: How did I end up not in my own universe?! [thinks] Oh my God, the Jerryboree!

Rick and Morty: Ohhhhhhhh, the Jerryboree.

Rick: Deep cut. [all three vanish]

Beth: Wait, but where's our real dad and our real Morty?

Summer: Buried in the backyard.

Beth: That's what the possums are after...

[About Rick Prime]

Rick: [sighs after an awkward silence] Yes, Morty?

Morty: You promise I'm not, you know... bait? T-To make that Rick come back?

Rick: What? M-Morty, for you to be bait, the guy'd have to value something. He truly does not give a shit. He's the... real deal.

Rick: A Mort Well Lived [6.02]

Bethic Twinstinct [6:03]

Night Family [6:04]

Final DeSmithation [6:05]

Summer: You know, fortune cookies only come true if you eat the cookie first. [eats and reads] All right. "Hard work often pays off." Lame.

Beth: [reading hers] "Family time is time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Morty: Okay, mine says "Family time is time well..." Oh man, I got the same one?

Summer and Beth: Boo.

Morty: What's your stupid 21st century watered-down fortune cookie say, Dad?

Jerry: "You will have sex with your mother."

[Jerry gets surprised, awkward looks from the family and everyone else in the restaurant]

Summer: Why are you dressed like Morty?

Jerry: Because Morty's mom is Beth!

Morty: I'm not unpacking that...

Rick: [scans himself with his probability meter] Okay. I'm just as likely to shit a balloon as I am to become a dolphin.

Jerry: Those are things that could happen?

Rick: Jerry, everything is as likely as anything else.

Juricksic Mort [6:06]

[After the dinosaurs eliminate the world's jobs, Beth tries unsuccessfully to play a horse-based game of Operation]

Beth: Ugh! I can't even pretend to feel useful in a game! This is how humanity's story ends?! Relieved of duty and sat at the kids' table?!

Rick: I gotta respect these dinosaurs. They dominated a whole species just by calling its bluff about wanting more free time.

Beth: They didn't even dominate us, because we're not worth a fight to them. We've become biological Tyler Perry movies.

Morty: All they've done is help.

Beth: We didn't need their help! We were not the problem! This house recycles! [notices a Velociraptor sorting their rubbish outside and shouts at it] THEY SORT IT AT THE TRASH FACILITY! [the raptor shakes its head condescendingly at her]

Summer: [on her phone] What the "F"?! My dance videos are getting, like, zero likes now!

Morty: Oh yeah, the dinos kicked paedophiles off TikTok.

Summer: Great, so now I'm broke?!

Beth: You don't need money anymore.

Summer: So what's this for now? Phone calls?! Ugh! [throws her phone against the wall]

Beth: [to Rick] Oh, come on, Dad, you don't hate this too?

Rick: Why would I? I-I was already doing what I wanted. I do think it's kinda funny that you're all basically Jerry now.

Beth ... Fuck!

[Beth, Morty and Summer go to Jerry as he lies around in the living room]

Beth: Jerry, how do you do it?

Summer: Yeah, Dad, how do you do it?

Morty: How do you do it, Dad?

Jerry: Huh?

Beth, Summer and Morty: How do you do it?!

Jerry: [amazed] It's finally happened!

[After the dinosaurs teleport Rick and Morty back to their garage, in a process that shows their clothes, skin, flesh and bones being briefly separated]

Morty: Ah! I saw my bones!

Rick: Doctor Manhattan high-road assholes, teleporting ME?!

Morty: Why-- Why wasn't that painful?

Rick: They didn't even do it right! My-- My-- My fly is down!

Morty: Your fly was already down.

[Rick takes the portal pistol the dinosaurs gave him to a machine and crushes it]

Morty: What are you doing with that? Rick, it was a better--

Rick: Nothing from them is better! That thing had uptight Zen snob germs all over it!

Rick: Guess what? Dinosaurs are not secretly evil, and they're not out to cause anybody trouble - but it turns out trouble has a way of following them. [releases a small robot from an envelope]

Robot: Oh, yes, yes, yes! It's showtime! [projects images of craters from the other planets]

Rick: Literally every planet with dinosaurs on it is eventually smashed by a huge space rock that takes out them and most existing life.

Brachiosaurus: What? That can't be true.

Rick: It's all right to be frustrated. Let me explain. Why would planet-killing meteors follow dinosaurs? As these reptiles evolved to higher and higher levels of loving vegan godhood, another lifeform devolved into an equally selfless, hate-filled species of barely sentient rocks. They hurtle through space and do as much damage as they can to their chosen enemy, which is guess who? Yup, everywhere these dinos go, these rocks, they come a-crashing, and this one... [the meteor is shown, speeding through space and babbling angrily] is headed directly towards us!

Triceratops: And all of our work? It was for--

Rick: Nothing! Bingo! Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

[After Rick gets the dinosaurs to go against their selfless philosophy to destroy the meteor]

Rick: All right, welcome back!

Tyrannosaurus: You obnoxious little TWAT!

Rick: Yeah, but you're alive. No David Foster Wallace-ing in my galaxy. You don't get to be so smart that you remove yourself from everybody. From one god being to another, you're welcome.

Triceratops: Well, as long as we're doing each other favours... [activates a machine that fires a beam]

Rick: Hey, w-wait, wait, what are you doing? [the beam seals the dimensional rift] YOU FIXED MY RIFT?! YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL COCKS! I-IT WAS ALL CANONICAL AND SHIT, WE COULDA MILKED THAT THING FOR A WHOLE SEASON! O-O-OR, LIKE, A THREE-EPISODE ARC, AT LEAST!

Triceratops: [smugly] Sorry, that's just us. We love helping, god beings to god being.

[A sleep-deprived, unshaven Jerry sits at his laptop]

Morty: Is Dad okay?

Jerry: Yes, I'm just... writing my second book. I don't know what it's gonna be about, but I can tell you one thing - the title is "Jerry Smith Presents: A Book By Jerry Smith". Chapter one... [about five seconds of silence pass] FUCK!!!!!!!