The Pagemaster is a 1994 live-action/animated fantasy adventure film about a cowardly boy, who buries himself in accident statistics, who enters a library to escape a storm, only to be transformed into an animated illustration by the Pagemaster. He has to work through obstacles from classic books to return to real-life.

Directed by Joe Johnston (live-action) and Maurice Hunt (animation).

Richard Tyler

• [repeated line] This is not good. Definitely not good.
• Dad, 8% of all household accidents involve ladders, another 3% involve trees. We're looking at another 30% probability here.
• You guys are the only friends I've ever had.
• Thanks, but I have already a family. I really should be getting home now.
• I lost my library card. I can't check anybody out. We'll never get to the exit now.
• I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor, made into a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates, and eaten- got that? -eaten by a fire-breathing dragon!
• [new catchphrase] Good. That was definitely good.

Dialogue

[First lines during the opening scene]

Claire Tyler: [offscreen; in bed] Alan, every ten-year-old is afraid of something.

Alan Tyler: [offscreen; in bed] The kid's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches.

Claire Tyler: Mercury levels in the tuna.

Alan Tyler: Whatever.

Claire Tyler: Alan, the world is a frightening place to him right now. I think we could be a little more supportive.

Alan Tyler: Supportive? I'm the most supportive father on earth, but I'm running out of supportive things to do. I signed him up for Little League, he drove everybody crazy with statistics about how you can develop tumors from being hit in the head with a ball. [offscreen] Did you know that shin splints can lead to blood clots in the legs? Claire, he brought in a medical journal. Nobody wanted to play after that. And now I'm building him a tree house, in a tree he refuses to climb.

[while Alan says the last sentence above, Claire turns on a light and he looks at the treehouse on a dark and stormy night]

Claire Tyler: You know he hates heights.

Alan Tyler: I don't know. I just want to be a good father.

Claire Tyler: But you are a good father.

Richard Tyler: Can't argue with statistics, Dad.

Alan Tyler: Statistics. Here's something you can do: go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these.

Richard Tyler: But, Dad...

Alan Tyler: Son, you can't live your life based on statistics. You've gotta take some chances. Now come on, Buddy.

Alan Tyler: [with a five-dollar-bill] You can do this.

[Alan gives money to Richard. His mother Claire releases him and joins her father in unison]

Richard Tyler: [Leaving his parents behind] This is not good. Definately not good.

Mr. Dewey: Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me, you're here for a special book.

Richard Tyler: Uh, Mister...

Mr. Dewey: Stop, stop stop, let me guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of... [starts speaking magically] a fantasy. Brave knights, mythical faeries, ferocious dragons.

Richard Tyler: Look, all I want is...

Mr. Dewey: [grabbing him and speaking excitedly] Adventure! Of course, you're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates.

Richard Tyler: No, no. That's not it.

Mr. Dewey: Horror. [speaking scarily while creeping toward him] Ahh, horror. Evil demons, wretched monsters, haunted houses, graveya-a-rds. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. [back to normal voice] Your library card, please.

Richard Tyler: Uh, I don't have one.

Mr. Dewey: [makes a library card appear magically] You do now.

Fantasy: [to Richard, angrily] What are you doing, grabbing me like that and messing up my pantyhose? Hmph! Now I gotta straight out my Little Mermaid underwear.

Richard Tyler: [putting his glasses back on] Wh-who are you?

Fantasy: [gruff] I'm Fantasy! [starts over] Oh! Ahem. [sweet] I'm Fantasy.

Adventure: I heard that! And I would let you know, I'm a Classic!

Fantasy: Mm-hmm, a classic misprint.

Adventure: Why, you old sea serpent! I'll rip out your pages, and use them for-! [slips off] OH NO! [falls to the ground] MAN OVERBOARD!

Richard Tyler: [really freaking out] Do something!

Fantasy: Hmm... [Gives you a blast of wand, then Adventure falls and crashed down] Oops. Ha, ha, I forgot my wand doesn't always work outside of the fantasy section.

Richard Tyler: You mean you can't wish us to the exit?

Fantasy: [notices the names carved on the wall of the gate] Dr. Jekyll? Mr. Hyde? [turns away] Must be a duplex.

Richard Tyler: Whoa!

Adventure: Go ahead, matey. I'm-I'm right behind ye. [Richard Tyler gasps, the trio walks onto the porch and stood behind the two doors of the house] [points the rope] Well, ring the bell.

Richard Tyler: [panting] [Reaches for the rope, and gives a yank, making the bell chime loudly]

Horror: [slipping off the roof of the house, falling down, and screaming, making Richard Tyler, Adventure and Fantasy look up] AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

[Richard caught him in his arms] Oof!

Richard Tyler: [looks at Horror, disgusted] Huh?

Fantasy: [flies back down to Richard] Good catch!

Richard Tyler: [a little scared] H-here, take it!

Fantasy: [blushing] Isn't he sweet? [makes kissing sounds] Muah-muah-muah-muah-muah.

Horror: [looks at Richard Tyler] [little scared] Oh, I scared you. I'm sorry.

Fantasy: You mustn't judge a book by its cover. [Horror makes a cheerful face]

Richard Tyler: [confused] Uhhh...

Fantasy: Look, he's smiling.

Horror: [makes a smile, showing only a few teeth on his gum] Ha-ha!

Richard Tyler: [grossed out] That's a smile?

Horror: Can I have the olive? Whoa! [knocks the wine glass over and sends it crashing onto the floor] Uh-oh.

Adventure: Now look what you've done!

Fantasy: [shocked] Dr... Jekyll? Dr. J?

Mr. Hyde: [his face is covered with both hands] My name is... [reveals his scary face to the camera] Mr. HYDE! [Richard and the books react in fright]

Horror: So, do I think I'm scaring it? He shouldn't swim right after eating you know, he'll get cramps.

Adventure: Where did he go?

Richard Tyler: Aah! [The whale's movement is seen]

Adventure: Row! Row for your lives!

Richard Tyler: AAH! [he sees Moby Dick]

Adventure: Abandon Ship-!

Richard Tyler, Horror, Fantasy, Adventure: [bites off the boat] Waa-hooooooh!

Richard Tyler: [screams] AAH-! [he falls down to the water and crashed] Me-me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me! [coughs in water] Guys! Where are you?!

Adventure: There goes me ticket out of here! Uh...

Crows Nest Pirate: LAND HOOOOO! LAND HOOOO!

Horror: [singing] Sixteen men on a dead man's stomach.

Fantasy: No, no! Chest! Chest!

Horror: Oh, uh, chest. Chest. Ah, hee, hee, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha! [singing] Yo, ho, ho! And a bottle of rum!

Richard Tyler: Aah! Aaaaaah...!

Tom Morgan: Evil spirits!

Horror: Hee, hee! [jumping off the tree with a vine] SANCTUARY! [knocks the pirates down, then landed on the ground] Huh!

Richard Tyler: Horror, you are alive!

Tom Morgan: [using the gun with Horror] Not for long! Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!

Horror: Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Horror: Ahoy, matey! Aye, we're lusty, adventurous men.

Adventure: Go away. You don't know what you're talking about.

Horror: I...I know I'm not your favorite kind of book, but I could be just like you.

[Adventure stops at his tracks, and yells angrily at Horror]

Adventure: You'll never be Adventure! Ye ain't got the spine for it. And take that stupid thing off!

Horror: [taking a bandana off his head] Sorry.

Adventure: [muttering] Oh, he thinks he can be a pirate...

[Horror sighed with sadness, and walks away]

Richard Tyler: Where's Horror? Wasn't he with you?

Adventure: He was, but he...I mean, I sort of...uh..he, uh....

Fantasy: [angrily] Ohh, what did you say to him now?!

Adventure: Well, I-I...I just...uh, I'll go find him.

Fantasy: Yeah, you better go find him. And be quick about it!

[Adventure saves the unconscious Horror, who was tied to the ground by little people]

Adventure: He had a good heart, and he was braver than ye knew. I...I'd walk the plank if I thought it would bring ye back.

Horror: [wakes up] That's beautiful.

Richard Tyler: Wow! Look at this place!

Horror: It's so purdy. I could be misshelved here for a long time.

Adventure: Happyland.

Richard Tyler: [on seeing the Pagemaster again] Hey! How did you get here!?

Fantasy: [through her teeth] Quit it! We're in the presence of the Pagemaster!

Richard Tyler: I know who he is. He's the one who did THIS [gesturing along his body] to me! Do you have any idea what I've been through?!

Pagemaster: Tell me.

Richard Tyler: I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor! I was made a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates. And eaten-got that, eaten-by a fire-breathing dragon!

Horror: He don't mean it, my Pagemaster. He don't mean it.

Richard Tyler: And not to mention being tossed, squashed, and scared practically to death!

Pagemaster: Yet you stand before me.

Richard Tyler: Well, yeah.

Pagemaster: Think, boy! What kind of an adventure would you have had if I brought you here with the turn of a page?

[hologram of Mr. Hyde appears, then morphs into Jekyll]

Dr. Jekyll: You prevailed over evil. [morphs into Captain Ahab]

Captain Ahab: Ah, you looked Moby Dick in the eye, boy. [morphs into Long John Silver]

Long John Silver: Ah, you had pirate stuff, me lad! And don't no one speak any different.

Pagemaster: If I hadn't brought you here from the start, you would never have found the courage to face your own fears. [hologram morphs into the Dragon] And in doing so, you triumph here... and always. [hologram shows a live-action Richard Tyler unconscious on the library's rotunda floor]

Richard Tyler: Hey, that's... That's me!

Pagemaster: That was you.

[At night, the Tyler's parent car arrives home]

Claire Tyler: [In car] I can't imagine where he could be. Maybe we should call the police.

Claire Tyler: [Gasps as the car parks in front of Richard's bicycle, lying down] Alan!

[the car stops]

Claire Tyler: [Gets out] He's home!

[Alan gets out]

Claire Tyler Alan.

Alan Tyler: [sees Richard in the treehouse] It's impossible.

[Alan goes up into the treehouse]

Alan Tyler: Rich?

Claire Tyler [Goes up into the treehouse and takes Richard's signature glasses] We probably should put him in his bed.

Alan Tyler: Let's let him sleep up here tonight.

[Claire goes down, as Alan uses the coat as a blanket for Richard]

Alan Tyler: [turning off a lantern] Love you, Richie.

[Alan goes down the treehouse. Alan & Claire goes inside the house]

Alan Tyler: Good night, son.

[Alan closes the door, leaves, and the living room light turn off]

Cast

External links

• The Pagemaster quotes at the Internet Movie Database