This page is for the film Robots.  For other uses, see robots.

Robots is a 2005 American computer-animated comedy film produced by Blue Sky Studios for 20th Century Fox, which revolves around a nonconformist robot who dreams of being an inventor.

Directed by Chris Wedge. Written by David Lindsay-Abaire, Lowell Ganz, and Babaloo Mandel.

Dialogue

Robot on truck: Hey! Get out of the way!
Herb: Hey, hey! I'm going to be a dad!
[after they have assembled Rodney]
Lydia: Honey?
Herb: What?
Lydia: What's that extra piece?
Herb: Oh. Oh, no, they always put in an extra...
[takes a good look at the piece]
Herb: [chuckles] We did want a boy, right?
[he takes the piece and a hammer]
Herb: This won't hurt a bit, son.
[he hammers the piece in, Rodney cries]
Mr. Gunk: [about Wonderbot] I'll stop it!
[Rodney has just arrived at Bigweld Industries; he stares at the front gate in awe]
Tim: Yoo-hoo! Excuse me! Can I help you?
Rodney: Sorry, I … hey! You're Tim from the TV show!
Tim: That's me!
Rodney: Well, hey, Tim. Who closed the gate? It's never supposed to be -
Tim: Yeah, okay. What do you want?
Rodney: Hm? Oh. I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. I'm an inventor. [he quickly shows Wonderbot to Tim]
Tim: Well, why didn't you say so? Stand back.
[Tim opens the gate; Rodney stares in amazement at what he sees]
Rodney: Thanks. [he starts to go in, but the door suddenly closes] WHAT?!
Tim: [laughing] I gotcha! Y'see, because you were all excited, and then BOOM! [laughs again; Rodney glares] Alright, I had my laugh. Go on in.
Rodney: [resuming his entry before the door closes again] Whoa … hey!
Tim: [laughing hysterically] Now, that's funny! A second time! What?! You really think I'm gonna let you in! [laughs] Well, I'm not! Sorry, kid. Nobody gets in. Company rules.
Rodney: Company ru...? Well, then how do they hire new inventors?
Tim: They don't. Those days are over. My advice … hmm, come back two years ago, then the job is yours. [laughs hysterically]
[cut to Bigweld Industries, as the camera zooms in on the building]
Rodney: [off-screen] I'll get to the bottom of this.
[The Bigweld Industries executives are gathered in the meeting room, watching a clip of The Bigweld Show]
Bigweld: [video] So, remember, whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matter what you're made of. [the clip stops]
Ratchet: Oh, my goodness. What a remarkable legacy. Concern for the common robot. You just don't come across old-fashioned values like that anymore, my friends. And for a good reason... THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT! Hello! Memo to Bigweld: we're not a charity! That's why old Fat-face no longer sits in the big chair. He's a relic! So I don't want to hear another [in a whiny voice] "Where's Bigweld?" [imitates a baby whining, then back to normal] again!
Chairman: We'll see him next month at the Bigweld Ball! He always goes to that. [Ratchet pushes a button which makes the chairman fall into a pit]
Ratchet: Now, let's get down to the business of sucking every loose penny out of Mr. and Mrs. Average Knucklehead. [closes the room's blinds and starts a presentation] What's our big ticket item? Upgrades, people, upgrades. That's how we make the dough. Now, if we're telling robots that no matter what they're made of, they're fine, how can we expect them to feel crummy enough about themselves to buy our upgrades and make themselves look better? Therefore, I have come up with a new slogan: "Why be you when you can be new?" [turns off the screen and opens the blinds] I gotta tell you, I think it's brilliant, but honestly, I'd like to hear what you employees think about this.
[After a moment of silence, the boardroom erupts in applause.]
Employee: Out of the ballpark, Ratchet.
[After a skating fight on marbles, Fender hits the floor and his head comes off of his body]
Fender: Oh, great. Happy now?
Rodney: Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger! [takes his foot back from Fender]
Crank: Ugh. What's the use? There's nothing left.
Lugnut: Hey, Diesel, I found you a voice box. [Diesel puts the voice box in his mouth; starts imitating a Japanese sport announcer until the chip falls out of him] Uh... here's another one. [Diesel starts barking like a dog]
Crank: That's no good. Give me that! [He attempts to take it out of Diesel, but Diesel just growls at him]
Lugnut: [sighs] I can never find parts in my size. [Fender's head suddenly flies into the basket; Diesel barks] What is it, boy? [finds Fender's head] Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?
Crank: "Lost weight"?! Look at - will you look at - he's a head, in a basket! We're doomed, I knew it. We're doomed.
Fender: Yeah, will you shut up, you neurotic nut? Why, I'd... I'd smack you if I had a hand. [his body conveniently comes bouncing off the walls] Well, speaking of the devil, here I come. [his body lands] Ow! Dang it!
Piper: [emerging from a nearby recycling bin with a discarded Wonderbot] Whoa, check this out! Who would throw away such a cute little doodad? [Wonderbot whimpers] Aw, don't be scared...
Rodney: [off-screen] Hey, that's mine!
Fender: That's him! That's the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot! [he realizes his hand is pointing to his own body instead of Rodney's] Psst! He's over there, you moron. [his hand points to Rodney's body] That's the perpetrator! He knocked my head off! You want another piece of me?!
Piper: Alright, buster! If you think you can mess with my big brother, you're... [is distracted by Rodney's appearance] you're kind of cute.
Crank: Piper, would you behave yourself? Now, come on. Let's get Fender fixed... again.
Piper: [handing Wonderbot back to Rodney] Here's your... thingamabob. By the way... the name's Piper. Rhymes with "viper". [hisses flirtatiously] See you around. [she suddenly trips over, but gets up and adjusts herself]
Fender: We've told you a hundred times, [with his hand] don't talk to strange men. Thank you, Manuel.
Piper: I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?
Rodney: When was the last time you got oiled?
Fender: I really can't say that with my kid sister around here.
Piper: Can it, Fender!
Rodney Copperbottom: Hey, Fender.
Fender: Hm? [Rodney does armpit noises] YEAH, BABY! LET IT RIP!
[Rodney and Fender are doing armpit noises]
Crank: Hey, guys, come on. What are you, three years old? This is how a man does it.
[Crank does armpit noises]
Piper: You guys are SO gross! Besides, this is how you do it.
[Piper does armpit noises]
Aunt Fanny: Hey kids, get a load of this...
[does a MASSIVE fart; everyone is grossed out]
Rodney: Open the window!
Piper: Aunt Fanny!
[Aunt Fanny finishes farting and sighs with relief]
Piper: WE were using our arms!
[a Lamppost outside wakes up and sniffs the air]
Aunt Fanny: Oh...
Piper: Eeeeewwwww!
Aunt Fanny: Excuse me.
Crank: Ugh, light a match!
Lamppost: Lady... please... see a doctor... [the lamppost passes out]
[an angry mob of outmodes gathers at the front of Jack Hammer’s store]
Jack Hammer: Sorry, folks! All sold out! Nothing but upgrades from here on in!
Female Robot: [angry] But I like myself just the way I am! [her light bulb nose breaks] Oh!
Male Robot #1: We can't afford upgrades!
Male Voice: This is unfair!
Male Robot #2: [shouting] Let's get him! [a male robot attempts to throw a trashcan, but it is actually a robot]
Trashcan Bot: Hey, hey, hey. Hey, what are you doing? Don't throw me! [Rodney and the Rusties join in the commotion] Hey, isn’t that the guy who fixed Fender’s neck?
Male Robot #3: Yeah, that guy fixes bots!
Jack Hammer: Yeah, that kid can help you!
Fender: [to Rodney] Brace yourself, you’re about to get very popular.
Cappy: I'll escort him out.
Bigweld: [to Rodney] Let me give you two words of good advice, son. GIVE UP!
Rodney: Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?
Bigweld: I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball!
Rodney: I'll take that as a "no"!
[Bigweld has been taken hostage by Madame Gasket and is a few steps away from being incinerated]
Bigweld: Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot.
Madame Gasket: [flattered; in a sing-song voice and fluttering her eyelashes] I try.
[Piper has just showed up unexpectedly to help the others fight Madame Gasket and her minions]
Piper: Did I miss the butt whupping?
Everyone: Uh... no.
Crank: As a matter of fact, you're a little bit early.
Tin Man: Now I know I've got a heart, because it's aching.
[Herb is doing a poor job of playing the instrument Rodney gave him]
Crank: Well, there goes our happy ending.
Fender: No – it’s a fusion of jazz and funk. It’s called junk.

Taglines

  • You can shine no matter what you're made of.
  • The biggest comedy ever assembled!
  • Repair for adventure!

Cast

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