Family Guy is an animated television series created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999. The show was canceled in 2002, but after a positive response to DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, productions of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.

Family Guy and all related characters, episodes, and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, or founders of the Wikimedia Foundation Do NOT have ownership or authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, The Wikimedia Foundation, have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, The Walt Disney Company, in any way.

Please read Family Guy/Format for notes on how to use and edit this article.

Oscars Guy

Chris: [discussing wanting to enter America's Funniest Home Videos] I want to spend $2,000 flying to Los Angeles to win $1,000.

Peter: You know when I agreed to this, I 100% thought it was American Pie. Always read the second word of the title before you sign something.

Bend or Blockbuster

Lois: [texting] Hey, guys. Home with groceries. It could use hand unloading. And send. [sends text] Now, I wait for them to come out and help their dear old mom.

Peter: [offscreen] Do it yourself!

A Wife-Changing Experience

The Munchurian Candidate

[Peter and Lois are dining at His and Her's Restaurant]

Lois: Ah, look at this, Peter. A new restaurant in town. What a lightning bolt to the balls for a couple of schmos like us, huh?

[Lois looks at the pictures of Susie Swanson on Bonnie's Facebook page]

Lois: Ugh, look at that thing's eyes! You know, maybe one glass a night wasn't fine.

Unizpped Code

[Jerome has broken his leg and is in a wheelchair]

Cleveland: Whoa, Jerome. What's with the wheelchair?

Jerome: Well, it was date night with my ladyfriend. Put on some Teddy Pendergrass. One thing led to another. We started making love halfway up the stairs. Then, I lost my footing and tumbles down half a flight!

Quagmire: [appalled] Well! This is hardly a dinner conversation!

Joe: I bet you're gonna discover some cool new things you couldn't do while walking.

Jerome: Like what?

Joe: Well, have you yelled at someone for using the handicapped stall yet?

[a bird steals Cleveland's laptop]

Cleveland: Bird! Bird! Bird stole my laptop!

Happy Holo-ween

Peter: Thanks to the vaccines, we can all get back to doing the things we hate.

[Peter sees Roberta dressed as Harley Quinn]

Peter: Whoa!

Cleveland: Careful.

The Stewaway

External links