For other uses of "Alice in Wonderland", see Alice in Wonderland (disambiguation).

Alice in Wonderland is a 2010 film loosely based on Lewis Carroll's book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Alice

  • [to the Jabberwocky as she raises the Vorpol Sword] Off with your head!

Dialogue

[Alice and her mother are on the way to her surprise engagement party at the Ascot's estate]
Mrs. Kingsleigh: Where is your corset? And no stockings!
Alice: I'm against them.
Mrs. Kingsleigh: But you are not properly dressed.
Alice: Who's to say what's proper? What if it were agreed that "proper" meant wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?
Mrs. Kingsleigh: [Sternly] Alice.
Alice: To me a corset is like a codfish.
[Alice and Lady Ascot are taking a stroll through the garden]
Lady Ascot: Do you know what I've always dreaded?
Alice: [casually] The decline of the aristocracy?
Lady Ascot: Ugly grandchildren. But you're lovely. You're bound to produce little... Imbeciles! [notice that the gardeners have planted the wrong color roses] The gardeners have planted white roses when I specifically asked for red.
Alice: You could always paint the roses red.
Lady Ascot: What an odd thing to say.
Absolem: Who are you?
Alice: Absolem?
Absolem: [thinking that she's Absolem] You're not Absolem, I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?
Chessur: It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws. [purrs]
Alice: But I'm still dreaming!
Chessur: What did that to you?
Alice: Bander who... the bander...
Chessur: The Bandersnatch! Well, I'd better have a look!
Alice: What are you doing?
Chessur: It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills or it will fester and putrefy.
Alice: I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.
Chessur: At least let me bind it for you. [wraps up her wounds] What do you call yourself?
Alice: Alice.
Chessur: The Alice?
Alice: There's been some debate about that.
Chessur: I never get involved in politics.
Chessur: What's happened to you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.
Alice: Futter what?
Thackery: Futterwacken!
Mally: It's a dance.
[Thackery starts dancing a jig.]
Hatter: On the Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown, on that day, I shall Futterwacken... victoriously.
Stayne: [has his arm around Hatter's throat] If you're hiding her, you will lose your heads.
Hatter: [strained] Already lost them.
Stayne: You're all mad!
March Hare: Thanks very much. [Belches loudly]
Alice: [to Bayard] You were supposed to lead them away, the Hatter trusted you!
Bayard: They have my wife and pups.
Alice: What is your name?
Bayard: Bayard.
Alice: Sit!
Bayard: [Sits] Would your name be... Alice? By any chance?
Alice: Yes, but I'm not the one everyone's talking about.
Bayard: The Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.
Alice: Where did they take him?
Bayard: To the Red Queen's castle in Salazen Grum.
Alice: We're going to rescue him.
Bayard: That is not foretold.
Alice: I don't care! He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me!
Bayard: The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky!
Alice: From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole I've been told what I must do and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here.
Bayard: If you diverge from the path...
Alice: I make the path!
Iracebeth: [referring to Alice, who's just grown to a large size and naked] And what is this?
McTwisp: It's a who, majesty. This is... um...
Iracebeth: "Um"?
Alice: [thinking quickly] From Umbridge.
Iracebeth: What happened to your clothes?
Alice: I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbridge. They laugh at me. So, I've come to you hoping you might understand what it's like.
Iracebeth: My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. [to her subjects] Someone find her some clothes, use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl!
[Alice smiles]
Stayne: [sees Alice] And who is this lovely creature?
Iracebeth: Um, my new favorite.
Stayne: What is her name?
Iracebeth: Um.
Stayne: [to Alice] I believe your name has slipped the queen's mind.
Iracebeth: Her name is Um, idiot!
Alice: From Umbridge.
[to Iracebeth]
Hatter: What a regrettably large head you have. I should very much like to hat it.
Iracebeth: Hat it?
Hatter: I used to hat The White Queen, you know. Poor dear, her head was so small.
Iracebeth: It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.
Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter's temperature]
Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
[Hatter is in a cell. Bayard, his wife and the pups are on the other side. They all look up to see Chess appearing]
Chessur: I've always admired that hat. I was wondering...since you won't be needing it anymore...perhaps you would consider bequeathing it to me?
Hatter: How dare you??!?!? I'll have you know it is a formal execution and I would like to look my best, you know.
Chessur: It's a shame about all this. I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken.
Hatter: I was rather good at it, was I not?
Chessur: I really do love that hat. [Smiles slyly] I would wear it to all the finest occasions.
Alice: I couldn't kill the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it.
Absolem: It will.
Alice: This is impossible.
Hatter: Only if you believe it is.
Jabberwocky: So, my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again.
Alice: We've never met.
Jabberwocky: Not you, insignificant bearer. My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one.
Alice: That's enough chatter. [Cuts his tongue off]
[Mirana looks like she's about to throw up]
Alice: Sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me. And there's that trouble with your digestion.
[Alice walks over to her sister]
Alice: I love you, Margaret, but this is my life. I'll decide what to do with it.
[She turns to Lowell, meeting his sour look with a stern glare]
Alice: You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell, and be good to her. I'll be watching very closely.
[She then goes up to Imogene and takes her hands]
Alice: There is no prince, Aunt Imogene. You need to talk to someone about these delusions.
[She walks past Lady Ascot, looking sternly at her]
Alice: I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones.
[She goes up to her mother]
Alice: Don't worry, Mother. I'll find something useful to do with my life.
[She turns to the Chattaway sisters]
Alice: You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream.
Lord Ascot: You've left me out.
Alice: No, I haven't, sir. You and I have business to discuss.
Lord Ascot: Shall we speak in the study?
[Alice smiles and starts to head to the house, when suddenly she turns back to the crowd]
Alice: Oh. And one more thing.
[She lifts the hem of her dress to her knees and does the Futterwacken]
[A blue butterfly flies over and lands on Alice's shoulder]
Alice: [last lines] Hello, Absolem.
[Spreading his wings, Absolem flies away as Alice watches him]

Cast

Voices

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