The Toucher and Rich Show

Toucher and Rich is a Marconi Award-winning morning radio show from 6 to 10 AM on The Sports Hub 98.5 WBZ-FM, in Boston, Massachusetts.[1] The show first aired on June 5, 2006. On August 13, 2009, following the demise of WBCN, the show moved to sports talk station WBZ-FM 98.5 The Sports Hub. Toucher & Rich celebrated their 10th anniversary on August 16, 2016, selling out the Wilbur Theatre for a special 10th Anniversary show, with numerous guests as well as the finals of 98 Mile year 4.[2]

Toucher and Rich
GenreSports talk (2009–present)
Comedy, Talk, Rock (2006–2009)
Running time~4 hours
Country of originUnited States
Home station98.5 WBZ-FM (since August 13, 2009)
104.1 WBCN (June 5, 2006–August 13, 2009)
StarringFred Toettcher
Rich Shertenlieb
Jon Wallach
Original releaseJune 5, 2006 – present
Opening theme"Honey Bucket" by Melvins
Websitehttp://www.985thesportshub.com

On September 24, 2016, Toucher & Rich received the Marconi Award, the highest award in radio for Major Market Personality of the Year.

From August 17, 2015 until July 13, 2018, the show was simulcast on NBC Sports Boston. The show is now streamed live on Twitch.

From June 5, 2006 until mid-2007 the show's opening theme was "Fuck All Y'all" by Saliva. Since 2007, the opening theme is "Honey Bucket" by Melvins.

Toucher and Rich entered regional syndication on October 25, 2021.[3] The program's inaugural affilates consisted of four Townsquare Media stations: the trimulcast of WCYY in Portland, Maine, WPKQ in North Conway, New Hampshire, and WJZN in Augusta, Maine; and WEZQ in Bangor, Maine.[4]

Show Members
  • Fred "Toucher" Toettcher – Host
  • Rich Shertenlieb – Co-host, Production
  • Jon Wallach – Sports Headlines
  • Dan O'Brien – Executive Producer
  • Mike Lockhart – Production Director/Producer. Co-host of the 98.5 The Sports Hub Fantasy Football Show on Sunday mornings during the NFL Season
  • Nick Gemelli – Producer, Phone Screener – Nick interned for the show during WBCN and part of a number of segments including the "Agonizing Race”. In July 2008 Nick abruptly left show, returning nearly eight years later. He’s responsible for Drunken Recaps, ‘Ask A Pink Hat’ and other street audio segments for the show. Nick also discovered two popular characters: Rock & Roll Mike, "Guy from Machine" and his father, Mark Gemelli. In May 2018, Nick had a serious staph infection that almost claimed his life. He had to undergo open heart surgery to replace a damage heart valve with a mechanical. This led to Fred frequently referring to Nick as "Young Sickly Nick." He currently runs the show's live Twitch stream.

Former Show Members
  • Adolfo Gonzalez, Jr. – Former phone screener and street reporter who conducted interviews for the Drunken Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics, and Patriots recaps. Is often remarked on for his depressingly neglectful childhood (bordering on criminally abusive child neglect). He is also noted for having knowledge of random facts associated with American History (in particular facts and dates related to World War II). Adolfo's last day was May 31, 2016, in order to return to college full-time.
  • Christopher "Crash" Clark – 3rd chair during the show's WBCN era, and the first year on WBZ-FM. He covered traffic, news, sports and more. Crash opted not to renew his contract in 2010, and returned to Atlanta. He now works at WXIA-TV as a traffic reporter. Crash has an affinity for Disney World, visiting the resort at least once per year with his wife.
  • Brian "B-Real" Flora – Producer during the show's WBCN era. Later worked on-air part-time at rival WAAF.
  • Jonathan "Bird" Marchant – Call Screener. Known for working security at Fenway Park, "Bird" has an unrivaled ability to form coherent sentences while speaking.

104.1 WBCN

Contributors
  • The Chili Guy: A frequent bit on the show involved interviewing a schizophrenic homeless man known as "The Chili Guy". His rants and catch-phrases are a favorite on the show, including "Couple beers, no beers...chili", "Bring Him Up On Racketeering Charges!", "Who's Buyin'? Who's Sellin'? Who's Buyin'? Who's Sellin'?" and "How many eights you got?". His favorite food is from "Pizza House", and his favorite beverage is "Red Drink". He claims to be related to Ted DiBiase and Hulk Hogan. The Chili Guy was most often interviewed by Adolfo Gonzalez, though other members of the show and Fred's wife interviewed him at various times as well. The Chili Guy is believed to have died.
  • Dungeon Master Jim: a Boston lawyer whose main hobby is gaming. DMJ is the T&R definitive source for all things nerdy, and he has begun to have his own segments covering the movie review. He also hosts "Warp Speed To the Weekend", a weekly segment on T&R during which Jim discusses the latest events in sci-fi and fantasy for the weekend. The "Warp Speed To the Weekend" segment usually airs on Fridays at 8:30 am.
  • The Gunner: An often inebriated caller who began every call by saying "Hey guys... hey." Pieces with The Gunner included his karaoke of various popular songs. Frequently challenged Adolfo to a "panty drinking contest", which involved chugging beers through a woman's used panties. To this day, many loyal listeners begin their calls into the showwith "hey guys, hey" in honor of The Gunner. The Gunner died on April 16, 2019.
  • Mike "Behind The Mic" Callahan: A broadcaster from Dean College that sent in a demo tape in the hope that he could take Rich's job. Mike was tasked with making theme songs for all of the towns involved in the "Five Towns in Five Days" promotion that Toucher and Rich presented. MBTM continues to submit off-key song parodies.
  • Rich Cronin: This former member of boy band L.F.O. became a show favorite with his candid and self-effacing tales of a Boston guy in Hollywood, getting hit on by manager Lou Perlman, and scoring and being dumped by Jennifer Love Hewitt.
  • The T.A.R.D.S: The Toucher and Rich Show's fan base, standing for "Toucher And Rich Derelicts/Diehards/Disciples/Degenerates/Drunks".
  • Best of Boston: An annual contest to determine who has the best face, butt, boobs and feet in Boston. Winners get tickets to the "chili pot" St. Patrick's Day.

98.5 The Sports Hub
  • Fart Court: Fred, Rich, and Wallach take famous celebrities to court for passing gas. Notable celebrities found guilty include Nancy Grace, Wendy Williams, and the stations own Scott Zolak, who to this day, does not admit guilt.
  • The Hot Take Police: Fred and Rich find and call out people in the media who have incredibly hot and outrageous takes on popular sports events/controversies (DeflateGate, etc.)
  • Drunken Celtics/Bruins/Red Sox recap: a member of the show goes out and interviews drunks outside of stadiums and bars after Celtics, Bruins and Red Sox games. The first meeting with the Chili Guy came during a drunken Red Sox recap.
  • Dating on Demand: The show analyzes cable company dating videos submitted by less than desirable folks while offering humorous commentary.
  • Ask a Pink Hat: The show finds a less-than-knowledgeable and/or drunk female fan wearing a pink Red Sox cap and asks her basic questions about the Red Sox or other local sports team.
  • Naughty Massarotti: Tony Massarotti reads Tweets and callers must decide whether they are real or he is making them up. Also used for describing "R-rated sex scenes" from select movies.
  • What's In Your Stack: Adolfo goes to a local Comic Book Store or Convention on a Wednesday to talk to customers about what comics they are buying and to ask several basic questions. The show attempts to guess their answers.
  • The T&R Draft: The show draft teams of people, TV shows, movies, etc. that fit into certain categories, such as "Hottest TV Moms," "Celebrities that need their own reality TV show," "Best Movie fight scene," and more. Draft order is determined by the flip of a "3-headed coin," usually resulting in Jon going last. The winner is determined by a poll of audience votes.
  • The Jon Gruden "This Guy" Challenge: Played on Tuesdays during the NFL season, Rich compiles the funniest and most ridiculous clips from ESPN NFL analyst Jon Gruden during his commentary of the previous night's Monday Night Football game, and a caller must decide whether or not Gruden will refer to players and/or coaches as "This Guy" during each clip.
  • 98 Mile: Various on-air and off-air personalities at 98.5 The Sports Hub compete one on one in a ranked bracketed "rap battle" style tournament to determine who can rap and roast their assigned opponents in the most humorous and cleverest manner. The eventual winner of the contest was Damon Amendolara in year 1 and Jon Wallach in year 2. 98 Mile then went on a 3-year hiatus, returning in 2015 when Rich Keefe won the competition. Dan Roche won in year 4. The final round of year 4's competition was performed live at T&R's 10th Anniversary show, with Roche taking on Scott Zolak. Of note there were numerous references to Felger and Massarotti's producer James Stewart having an emotionless personality and fitting the stereotypical profile of a serial murderer. The name of the contest is a reference to the film 8-Mile.
  • Know Your Armpits of America: Rich gives a short description of a real news story, while Fred and Jon Wallach guess the town where the story occurred.
  • Best of/Worst of Brackets: In this bit, the cast creates March Madness-style brackets in order to pit pop culture figures against one another, usually in a field of 16. The most notorious of these bits was the "Worst Comedians" bracket (won by Dane Cook), which garnered international attention from various media outlets and comedy blogs.[5] Other examples include "Worst Sportscaster" (won by Glenn "The Big O" Ordway), "Most Fascinating Person in Boston" (won by The Harvard Square Puppeteer), "Douchiest Douchebag" (won by Spencer Pratt)[6] featuring pick up artist extraordinaire Mystery, Brandon from Incubus, Guy Fieri, and others. "Best Internet Video" (won by The Alabama Leprechaun).
  • Faster Guy: An heir-apparent to the Chilli Guy, Mark aka "Faster Guy" is a well-meaning, mid-western-accented, pop-music loving hang-about that frequently runs into Adolfo outside the TD Garden and Fenway Park as the latter collects drunken recaps. The Faster Guy is known to favor non-sequiturs ("Ground beef is really a winner nowadays") and has various theories about the qualities that make up a good sports team ("left-handedness", for example, is a highly desirable athletic quality). The best attribute anything can have, of course, is the simple ability to go "faster", which in the Faster Guy's eyes cures many of life's ills. The crowning moment of a Faster Guy segment is usually when he finally references the word "faster", underscored by a dramatic rendition of "O Fortuna.[7]
  • Paul Finebaum Calls: Fred, Rich & Jon listen to the best and strangest calls into The Paul Finebaum Show, featuring regular callers like Mildred and Charles Allen Head, known best for introducing himself by saying, "Hey, Happy Tuesday/Wednesday."
  • The Townie Test: Nick finds someone at a major event, whether it be a St. Patrick's Day parade or a Dropkick Murphys concert or some other event, and Fred and Wallach attempt to guess the contestant's answers to a series of questions. The intro song is sung over Shippin' up to Boston by the Dropkick Murphys
  • Mark Gemelli: Intern Nick Gemelli's father, whom Nick lived with after recovering from open heart surgery. Mark Gemelli lives in a one-bedroom apartment in the North End, overlooking the parking garage at Government Center. Mark enjoys cooking meatballs, drinking Manhattans at 3pm, and thinks his son has "dick tendencies." He has an affinity for recliners, preferring to sleep in one over his bed. Shortly before Christmas in 2018, Toucher and Rich hosted "Mark Gemelli Christmas," where Mr. Gemelli was taken to Bernie and Phyl's in Saugus, MA and was allowed to pick out a new, free recliner. On April 8, 2022 Mr. Gemelli revealed that he witnessed part of the Government Center parking garage collapse,[8] and was one of the first people on the scene to assist with the situation.[9]
  • Jim Gray Interview - While on "Radio Row" in Atlanta prior to Super Bowl LIII, washed-up sportscaster Jim Gray joined Fred, Rich and Jon for an interview. The exchange lasted less than five minutes, with Gray giving curt, defensive answers about his friendships with Tom Brady and Oprah Winfrey. Upon being called out by Fred for not wanting to be there, Gray wished the show luck as they went to the headlines segment. While Jon read his headlines, Gray berated Fred and Rich off-air. Gray's off-air temper tantrum was featured on the show's Twitch stream.[10]
  • Brookline 911 - Also known as "Everyone's Angry in Brookline," Fred, Rich, and Jon listen to recordings of 911 calls from angry, entitled residents of Brookline, MA. Calls include a woman reporting children who were taking rocks from a local beach, a man who claimed a Trader Joe's employee laughed at him, and a Star Market shopper who inexplicably proclaims in a thick accent that he "didn't do anything, she was tagging the five-sector." Now one of the most famous segments on the show, Toucher and Rich will host a live "Brookline 911" event on May 13, 2022 at the Wilbur Theater in Boston, featuring previously unaired phone calls.

Notes
  1. "BostonHerald.com - Blogs: Messenger Blog» Blog Archive » WBCN dumps Opie & Anthony". www.bostonherald.com. Archived from the original on 2008-12-06.
  2. "'Toucher and Rich' get multiyear extension - the Boston Globe". The Boston Globe.
  3. "WBZ-FM Boston's 'Toucher & Rich' Enter Regional Syndication". Inside Radio. October 20, 2021. Retrieved October 25, 2021.
  4. Venta, Lance (October 25, 2021). "Townsquare Media Launches WCYY Trimulcast Across Northern New England". RadioInsight. Retrieved October 25, 2021.
  5. "Seriously, This Guy Isn't Funny - New York Post". www.nypost.com. Archived from the original on 2008-04-05.
  6. "National Leader in Sports, News Radio".
  7. "Drunken Red Sox Recap- Faster Guy". YouTube.
  8. "Worker Killed in Crane and Parking Garage Collapse at Government Center Demolition Site".
  9. "T&R Comedy HaHa Hole Featuring Mark Gemelli // WBZ-TV's Dan Roche Joins Toucher & Rich - 4/8 (Hour 3)".
  10. Paez-Pumar, Luis. "Jim Gray Gets Weirdly Snippy When Asked About His Friendships With Tom Brady And Oprah". Deadspin. Retrieved 2019-02-09.
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